


Whiskey Lullaby

by MissyMoxy



Category: Combat Zone Wrestling, Professional Wrestling, Whiskey Lullaby - Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Death, Drinking, F/M, Love, Pain, Songfic, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 12:08:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14284617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissyMoxy/pseuds/MissyMoxy
Summary: If you love someone, set them free.That's exactly what Emily did. She set Jon Moxley free from their toxic relationship. She left him before they destroyed each other. She went away because she loved him too much. But Emily didn't know that this would end up being her biggest mistake and that her actions would end up destroying what mattered the most.





	Whiskey Lullaby

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warnings: Character Death/Suicide.
> 
> Inspired on the song "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley & Alison Krauss
> 
> Hello everyone, this is my first attempt to write anything so please go easy on me lol. It's a little sad, but I hope you'll like it.

She was running around the room, packing her bags, praying to God that she could pack and leave before he got home from the bar, where he seemed to spend all his free time these days. It was a coward move, she knew that. Leaving and ending a four-year relationship without even telling him in person, but she couldn't see him. She knew that at the moment she looked into his beautiful blue eyes, they would suck her in like always and make it impossible to tell him all that she needed to say.

It wasn't totally unexpected, it wasn't like their relationship was perfect and she was leaving out of the blue. No, on the contrary, the only thing they did was fight all the time, screaming and throwing things at each other. They were toxic together.

It wasn't like she didn't love him either. Lord knows she loved Jon Moxley more than life itself, she would do anything for that man. But she had to leave. It was the best for both of them.

She knew that he would hate her, she knew that he would never want to see her again. After all, she was breaking her promise that she would be by his side forever, she wasn't better than his mother, after all, she was abandoning him just like she did.

Part of her thought that she was making a mistake by leaving, but a bigger part knew that it was the best. She was sure that after a while Jon wouldn't even remember her. He loved her, she knew he did, but he loved drinking more. When he was sober, he was the best boyfriend in the world, but the whiskey made him do things that she could never forgive.

He would find another girl, she knew he would. After all, it was impossible for a man with his looks to be alone, he was the most handsome man she had ever seen in her entire life. Everything about him was perfect, his unruly dirty-blonde hair, his striking blue eyes and the adorable dimples that would appear on his face whenever he smiled.

But behind his perfect outside there was a broken soul. A soul that she tried to fix over and over again, but he never let her in. Maybe he didn't need fixing, maybe when the right person came, he would truly be happy and his broken pieces would glue back together. Maybe she just wasn't the right person for him.

She zipped her bag, left the letter she wrote to him in his pillow and headed to the door. She opened the door and looked back, one last time, to the house where she lived the happiest years of her life. She chose to focus only on the good that happened there, she chose to focus on a time where they promised each other that it would always be them against the world.

Emily felt a tear on her cheek as she left and closed the door behind her, hoping she'd made the right choice.

x.X.x

When he got home, all the lights were off. It was strange because Emily hated the dark, it had something to do with her childhood. The only time when she was okay with it was when she was in his arms. And he loved having her in his arms, it was his piece of heaven in a world of hell.

He knew that he didn't deserve her, he knew that she was too pure for a piece of shit like him. He should let her go, but Jon Moxley was a selfish man.

His heart was pounding in his chest as he made his way to their bedroom. It was nothing, he told himself, maybe she just fell asleep without turning the light on. He knew she was exhausted, working two jobs, trying to make the ends meet while he followed his dream of being a professional wrestler.

And how did he pay her? By spending his nights at the bar, getting shitfaced and then coming home and picking fights with her. He really was a worthless piece of shit.

When he got to the bedroom and turned the light on, his heart stopped beating for a few seconds. She wasn't there, the bed was made and everything was in place. Maybe she was working a second shift, he tried to convince himself, but there was a feeling at the bottom of his heart that told him that wasn't the case.

Especially when he saw a neatly folded paper, on the top of his pillow, with his name on top. He grabbed it with shaky hands and felt his whole world stop when he saw what was written.

_Dear Jon,_

_As you probably realized by now I left, and I'm not coming back. I apologize for not being woman enough to say it to your face, I'm sorry for taking the "easy" way out and leaving you a letter instead of facing you._

_The truth is that if I hadn't left before you came home, I would've stayed because I wouldn't be able to look into your eyes and see the pain that I'd caused._

_I left because we were bad for each other. All the fights and screaming that we had were beginning to take a toll on both of us. We weren't healthy for each other. You know better than anyone that when we were good it was great, but when it was bad it was awful. We were killing each other slowly on the inside._

_I love you. Please don't think I'm doing this because I don't love you anymore, that couldn't be further away from the truth. I'm leaving because I love you too much. You know, I always thought we would get married, have children and grow old together. But God works mysterious ways._

_By now you must be thinking that I'm just a selfish bitch who cares about nothing but herself, please know that I'm doing this for both of us, it may not seem that way right now, because you are hurting, but I'm confident that in the future you'll realize that me leaving was the best thing that could've ever happened to you._

_I hope you find someone new because someone as handsome as you shouldn't be alone. Seriously, I hope you'll find a girl who'll rock your world and make you the happiest man on earth. I hope you find that person that will make all of your broken pieces glue back together because you deserve it, you deserve the world and the stars and I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you. I just want you to know that I tried, I tried with all that I had but it wasn't enough._

_Finally, I hope that you make it big on wrestling, you have talent, passion and everything you need to succeed. I'm looking forward to the day I'll be watching WWE like we did so many times before, and I'll see you come running down that ramp ready to kick ass._

_I love you, Jon, I hope you know that. I love you with all my heart, I never thought it was possible to love someone as much as I love you. My heart is yours, and you'll always have it for as long as I live. You are the greatest love of my life and don't you forget that ever._

_With Love,_  
_Emily._

No!

It couldn't be true.

Emily didn't leave him, she wouldn't do that. He was sure this was just a prank, that's it, just a way to get back at him for everything he'd done. It was just a joke and in no time she would come out from wherever she was hiding and she would laugh at him and then kiss him.

He went to her drawers, positive that he would find all of her belongings and everything would be fine.

But it wasn't.

All of her things were gone, vanished, like they were never there in the first place, all of her traces erased like Emily had been just a ghost, a fragment of his imagination.

He got angry and started throwing things around. She couldn't have left him, she was his and his only. Just like he was hers.

Jon eventually got tired of trashing the room and fell on the bed, her scent hit him like a ton of bricks. He always loved her scent, she smelled like peaches and it was the best smell in the world.

He hugged her pillow to his chest and closed his eyes. For a moment it was like she was there in his arms, but deep inside he knew that he would never hold her like that ever again.

The realization made him do something that he hadn't done in years, not since he was a child, not even when his mother died.

He cried.

He cried like he never had before. He was sobbing, calling her name, hoping that she would listen and came back home, back to him.

But she never did.

x.X.x

Five months had passed and Jon still hadn't heard a word about Emily, he tried everything he could to find her. He called all her friends, showed up at her workplaces, but he found nothing. It was like she'd disappeared from the face of the earth.

He couldn't deal with the pain anymore, it was worse than anything he'd ever faced in the ring. Hell, he'd rather fight on top of broken glass every night for the rest of his life than to live another day without Emily.

He tried to hate her, but how can you hate the greatest love of your life?

The worse though, was that he couldn't seem to forget her. He would get so drunk that he didn't remember his own name, but he always remembered her. Her face, her voice, her laugh, everything about her was carved so deep in his soul that nothing could erase it.

He was at the bar, drinking whiskey, getting drunk like he always did every day since she left him. He lost everything. His job, since he stopped showing up to the shows and when he did he was drunk out off his ass; he lost his friends, the only one who was around these days was Sami - who would still show at his house trying to help him. But he couldn't, no one could.

Tonight was more painful than the others, tonight was the night of Jon and Emily's fifth anniversary. This was the night he was going to propose to her, he'd already bought the ring and everything but now she wasn't here. He had nothing left.

"Another one," he asked the bartender raising his empty glass.

"I don't think so man, you drank enough."

"I didn't ask you if I had enough, I asked you for a fucking whiskey," he slurred grabbing the bartender by his shirt. "Now give me another one, before I shove your teeth down your throat."

The bartender shoved him. "Get the hell out of here before I call the police."

"Whatever man, fuck you!" He put some cash on the counter, got up and started walking towards the door. "I don't need it anyway, I have my stuff at home."

Jon stumbled on his way home, luckily this was one of the few days he was sober enough to know where he lived.

When he got home, he went straight to the cabinet where he stashed his drinks and grabbed a bottle of Jack.

"Now we're talking," he said, opening it and drinking it straight from the bottle.

Half of the bottle later and he could still remember her, he could still remember the way she smiled and her eyes sparkled whenever he told her he loved her.

He didn't want that, he just wanted to forget. He didn't want to remember how his heart raced whenever they kissed, he didn't want to remember that she made him feel fucking butterflies in his stomach every time she said she loved him. He just wanted to get her off his mind.

He tried to drink his pain away, but it seemed impossible. Every single day his pain was getting bigger and bigger. He didn't have the strength to fight anymore, he just wanted to stop the pain.

After drinking the whole bottle he grabbed another one and went to their room. The room where they made love so many times, he missed running his hands down her body, hearing Emily moan his name, he missed the way she completed him.

The pain was unbearable, he didn't want to live with it anymore, so he wrote a note to whoever would find him, grabbed a bottle of painkillers that he had from when he had an injury and took them all while drinking his whiskey.

Then it happened, he saw her, she was there lying next to him. Emily smiled and kissed him and then he heard it, the words he'd been longing to hear ever since she left.

"I love you, Jon.

x.X.x

Sami was worried about Jon. Ever since Emily left, he wasn't the same. How could he be, when the love of his life left him without even saying it to his face.

Jon was his best friend, his brother, but Sami also understood Emily's side. The girl was hopelessly in love with Mox and nobody could deny it, she did what she thought was better for them.

He walked to Jon's house, knowing he would find him with a hangover from hell or most likely still drunk from last night. Most people gave up on him, but he couldn't, he would never give up on Jon, they were brothers and he would do whatever it took to help him.

When he got there, he saw that the door was unlocked. Sami wasn't surprised, these days Jon barely remembered his own name much less remembered to lock the door. He went inside and walked straight to Jon's bedroom, he'd most likely be passed out in bed.

He found him lying on the bed with his face down in the pillow.

Something shiny caught his eye, it looked like an engagement ring, it was on the bed next to Jon on top of a note. He picked the note and felt his blood run cold when he read it.

_To the person who found me (probably Sami),_

_I can't do this anymore, ever since Emily left I feel like there's a part of me missing. I'm not strong enough to deal with this shit._

_Goodbye Sami, you were the best friend anyone could have. I was lucky to be able to call you my friend, my brother._

_If you ever see Emily again give her this ring, I had bought it before she left and I was going to propose to her tonight, but now she's gone._

_Tell her I'll love her till I die._

_Jon Moxley_

x.X.x

Emily was back in town.

Today marked a month of Jon's death. She already knew what happened, a friend who'd she still maintained contact with had told her he passed away.

At first, she couldn't believe it, she thought it was some sick joke, she even thought that maybe Jon came up with that to get back at her for leaving him.

Never in a million years, she would have thought the man she loved would take his life because of what she did. It was her fault. She killed Jon. She didn't "pull the trigger", but she "loaded the gun". And she would never forgive herself because of that.

Leaving Jon was the worst decision she'd ever made in her entire life. She started drinking to cope with the pain she was feeling, first little by little then enough to make her pass out. She hid it well though, no one in her new town even suspected she was an alcoholic with a broken heart. She would only drink alone at her new apartment, sometimes she would take pills too, some antidepressants, anything to numb the pain she was feeling. She never returned to Jon because she hoped he'd move on with his life, she never thought he was as broken as her.

Emily was at the cemetery, she had to talk to him, even if he couldn't listen. She hoped he did, she was always a believer in life after death. Jon used to make fun of her, telling her that if he died first, he would haunt her so that she knew if ghosts really existed or not.

She found his grave beneath a big willow. It was peaceful, just like he would've wanted. Emily sat on the grass in front of his headstone and took a small bottle from her purse and took a sip, cringing as the alcohol burned her throat.

Funny, she and Jon fought so much because of his drinking habits and now she was heading down the same path. But she had to, because sometimes when she drank enough, she'd see him again. His blue eyes looking at her like she was the only thing in the world and his trademark smirk that make her feel all kinds of things inside.

"I'm sorry Jon, it's all my fault."

She laid down on the grass with tears streaming down her cheeks, sobbing so hard that she could barely breathe. All the while drinking, hoping she'd drink enough to see him again.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do to have a chance to go back in time and stay with you instead of leaving like a coward."

"Emily!" She jumped hearing a male voice call her name. Emily got up and wiped her tears.

"Sami?" She looked at the black haired man.

"Haven't seen you in a while. " He opened his arms and Emily buried her face in his chest crying.

"I'm so sorry! It was all my fault, " she sobbed.

He pulled back just enough to look at her face and wiped her tears with his thumbs.

"Hey, it was not your fault. You hear me?" Emily looked down and Sami grabbed her chin. "Look at me, Mox wouldn't want you to blame yourself." He tried to comfort her, but that only made her cry harder.

"He died because of me," she let go of him and sat on the grass, pulling her knees to her chest. "The man I love is dead and I have no one but myself to blame."

"I have something to give you," he said, taking something of his pocket. "Jon left a note asking me to give you this, and I've had it with me all the time hoping I would see you again."

She took the little black box with shaky hands opening it and felt all the air leave her body when she saw the gold diamond ring.

"He'd bought it before you left and was going to give it to you the night he..." He scratched the back of his neck.

"The night he died, it would've been our fifth anniversary," she whispered. "I-I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow." She got up and started leaving.

"Emily wait!"

"Please Sami, I need to be alone right now."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. I assume you'll be at your old house?"

"Y-Yes," she stuttered. "I still have the key. I'll be there".

"Please take care."

"I will." With that, she ran to her car and took off.

She stopped at a liquor shop and bought two bottles of whiskey, ignoring the weird looks the owner was giving her.

When she got inside the house she and Jon used to share, the memories hit her like a ton of bricks. She remembered times where they were happy, times when they discussed how many children they would have and how their wedding was going to be.

He was going to propose to her and what did she do? Run away like a coward instead of trying to fix their relationship.

She put the ring on her finger and cried harder, she was supposed to be engaged to the love of her life right now. Instead, here she was, drinking like there was no tomorrow and her boyfriend was dead.

She went to their old room, bottle in hand, and fell to her knees when she looked at their bed. The bed where they made love, the bed where he made her his. She missed him so much, she missed how he would run his hands down her body and whispered in her ear that she was the best thing that ever happened to him.

He always thought she was too good for him, but that wasn't true. On the contrary, she was the one who never deserved all the love he gave her.

The pain she felt was unbearable and she missed him beyond words, maybe the best thing she could do was end it all and maybe, just maybe, she would join him wherever he was.

She grabbed the bottle of antidepressants she had in her bag and took his picture out of her wallet. It was from when he won the CZW title, he was so happy, his eyes were sparkling, he had a huge smile on his face, showing the dimples she loved so much. She remembered that night clearly. After celebrating with their friends, they went home and made love all night, only stopping when the sun was already rising. Just before she fell asleep, he whispered in her ear: "Someday, I'm gonna make you my wife."

She lay down in bed and took all the pills from the bottle, swallowing them down with some whiskey, and hold his picture to her chest. After a few minutes, she saw him again, looking at her, smiling with his dimples on full display. He leaned close and kissed her lips.

Then she heard the raspy voice that she missed more than anything in the world.

"I love you darlin'."

That alone was enough to make her heart race one more time like it did so many times before.

Before it finally stopped.

x.X.x

Next morning, Sami found Emily lying in bed, clinging to Jon's picture like her life depended on it.

Deep down he knew this was going to happen. And even though it hurt him, he knew that they couldn't live without each other. Now their pain was gone and they could finally be at peace.

Emily was buried next to Jon beneath the willow. That's what she would've wanted.

They were finally together, just how they belonged.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So that's the end, I hope you liked it. Please review and let me know your thoughts about this story, constructive criticism is always welcomed. Until next time.


End file.
